Having 2 dogs, one that was passed away in May this year and a 16 1/2 year old poodle in the final stages of his life prompted me to share a heartfelt writing of my first dog and his last day written many years ago :
“Charlie’s Last Day”
The day flowed along very rapidly. But work wasn’t at the front of my focus where it should be. At about 2:00 pm I could no longer think about anything else, pictures and memories of my little friend flashed through my mind and flooded my consciousness. What grand memories they were! For the best part of 16 years we had been friends. I knew Charlie and I had made our appointment for 5:30 pm but at 3:30 pm I only wanted to be with him. I rushed out of work with nothing on my mind but hugging my old friend. The drive home seemed to take forever and had a surreal quality about it.
When I pulled into the parking lot the apprehension and excitement rushed through me. As I put the key into the lock, in anticipation I thought “Would he still be alive or would he have left without saying goodbye?”
Up the elevator and arriving at the condo, I opened the door I was able to hear that little whine of happiness. When his weak, old eyes recognized me in that doorway, I could see his tail wag his whole body full of excitement. It seemed like when he saw me come through the door on this day he looked as he did as a young dog. I dropped to my knees and hugged him. I could feel the warm tears streaming down my cheeks and wetting his fur. It created a bond between us that will span all the rest of my life. We became one in those moments and I will treasure this memory forever.
Carefully I picked up this old dog that had taught me so much about happiness and love. I carried him to my bed where he loved to lay beside me while I read over those many years of companionship. As I lay down beside him sobs tearing into my soul as I hugged him. Charlie worked to get closer to me and I gently lay my head on his side to listen to his old heart beat. I nuzzled my nose into his fur, his smell and warmth comforting me. He lay still seeming to understand this was a special moment for both of us. “I love you, old friend” I said. His paw reached out and pulled at my hand as he had done for so many years when he wanted more petting. I hugged him and petted him until it seemed to wear him out, then I dressed as I had to make the 5:30pm appointment. I knew the moment was swiftly approaching when I was going to help Charlie through the end of his life and it was only going to last for a few seconds.
We left together and Charlie’s excitement rose as he always loved riding in the car. We drove to Hopkinton and picked up Doug, my son. Our history in time all bonded together for those 16 years.
We arrived at the Marlborough animal hospital at about ten after five. The staff was conscientious and kindly ushered us into the examining room where we waited for the vet. As always, Charlie walked into the room by himself and he always seemed to know which room he was to meet the vet in. I put him up on the examining table and the vet in a very warm, caring fashion explained the procedure.
Charlie never cared for injections but was a real trooper. He always maintained his warm friendly nature no matter how much anything hurt him. The vet inserted the needle while I petted Chuck, held him and told him how much I loved him as he died in my arms. The connection so strong between us it felt as though my heart were going to stop when his did. I asked the vet to leave us as I need a few moments to say goodbye to my old friend. “Goodbye Charlie” I said “I Love You.” I held him hoping as his memories died, my holding and love for him would be his last remembrance.
